last week something happened...Carolina peed on me a bit and i didnt immediately change my clothes... in fact i didnt change at all. ha. (Please note it was just a little bit of pee..not like a sopping mess) anyways...i laughed to myself as i thought, "i am offically a parent. and not just any kind of parent...i am a MOMMY!"
Carolina is doing fabulous! she amazes me everyday with the little bit shes grown overnight! she is starting to stay awake a bit more during the day and is more alert and those eyes are open real big now! she has got the cutest little faces! she makes this one where she makes a little 'O' with her mouth...whenever she does that i HOOT like an owl...its fun to play with her like that! she also has the sweetest smile; it comes out more during sleep than it does during wake time but it just melts my heart to see it. and it absolutely breaks my heart when she cries. :(
we have had to stop breast feeding; i didnt take it well but she just isnt latching and sucking. shes a little snacker and will take only enough milk to ease her current hunger pain. when that hunger pain comes back an hour later she is ready to snack again. so...i am now puming every 2-3 hours. i am hoping within the next few days i will be ahead of the game and making enough that i can start freezing again. it is a tough job, breastfeeding. even the pumping. but i am just remembering that this is what is best for her and that it will get easier.
other than that theres not much else going on...
we've discovered that the 'swaddle me' is our best friend when it comes to sleeping. :) she resists a bit when i first put it on but she seems to like it and is sleeping much better the last 24 hours....just gotta get her to realize the difference in day and night :) ...oh the adventures of being a mommy! I am LOVING it!
Monday, September 12, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
& a GRAND entrance it was....
the last few weeks have been nothing short of eventful. needless to say i was pretty uncomfortable the last couple of weeks before Carolina came. but it got to the point where i was just distraught. i was praying for labor. on saturday the 20th we got our first sign of the beginning of labor and contractions started about an hour later, they were approximately 2 to 2.5 hours apart and continued into the night but then stopped. i decided not to go to church or to lift groups the next day because i didnt think it was appropriate for the girls in lift group to see me in such pain. by sunday afternoon the contractions had picked up but were incredibly erratic; anywhere from 22 minutes to 15 to 7 minutes apart. needless to say it was frustrating. finally by sunday night i was in a lot of pain and contacted the dr but she said not to come in until the contractions were (anyone who has had a little one knows this) 5 minutes apart for one hour OR, if they got to 7 minutes apart for one hour and i was in a LOT of pain that i could go on in to L & D (labor and delivery). of course though, they stopped. sounds just like Carolina though. She is a stubborn one and likes to go at her own pace, no one can push her if she isnt ready (sound like anyone else you may know???? hmmm.... ha). Monday morning the 22nd i remember waking up long enough to do two things... 1. tell eric to stay as close to his phone as possible and 2. to call my mom and tell her "i think this is the day....i think this is it." the contractions would not let up and were just awful. all i could do was lay there and motivate myself by thinking about the wonderful reward i would get at the end of all of this. mom came over and sat with me and im glad she did bc by noon i was calling the dr and asking if they could squeeze me in for a quick check. next thing i knew i was sitting in the waiting room and of course....the contractions stop again! frustration. i looked at eric and said "you know we are gonna get back there and they are gonna tell us that we are 2 cm (we were just 1 cm the week prior at our appt) and that these are just braxton hicks". sure enough....we were 2 cm but they were real contractions.
so...you know me....do i go home and rest? naaaaah......mom and i go "walking" at the mall. probably an hour in the contractions were more intense....still erratic but were more like 8 to 4 to 6 minutes apart and for the majority of the hour that we sat at cheesecake factory eating...they were 4 minutes apart. this scared me...all i could think about was that this baby was coming and it was coming now and i would get to the hospital and it would be too late for an epidural...blah blah blah worry worry.
we grabbed our check and headed straight to L&D. i tried calling the dr but couldnt get a hold of them. got to L&D, and got to a bed...and met who would soon become one of the most amazing nurses and gifts from God...my nurse, Paula. (SIDE NOTE HERE: ALL OF MY NURSES IN L&D WERE FABULOUS...I LOVE YOU ALL....I JUST DID A SHOUT OUT TO PAULA BC SHE WAS WITH ME FROM THE BEGINNING...BUT ALL OF YOU, ALL OF THEM, WOULD SOON BECOME VERY IMPORTANT PEOPLE TO ME). Paula was tough on me. you could tell she'd been here done this a million times before. you could tell she cared but at the same time i could just tell that she knew that it wasnt time. we waited a while but the contractions never got strong enough and so i was sent home. but i knew when we walked out the door we would be back in less than 24 hours...even paula knew that.
we got back home and i got all relaxed and eric brought me my "last meal"...outback cheese fries (if you know me you know i am obsessed with them!!!)....&&&& we waited. the contractions were stronger and longer and before you knew it we were on our third attempt of contractions lasting one minute, five minutes apart for one hour.....and so we were out the door. that drive to the hospital seemed like it took forever.
we checked back in and there came paula, she checked my contractions and five minutes later was back in the room telling me theyd be in shortly to do my IV and my epidural. "oh no....the epidural. oh my gosh...this is it. its here." i was ready and excited but apprehensive and a nervous wreck all at the same time. and immediately...my biggest fear, one ive had most of my life set in....what if something goes wrong....what if i die or my baby dies???? SIDE NOTE: at around 4 months i asked eric what my favorite candy bar or something like that was and he got the answer wrong...i instantly got upset and angry with him..."what if something happens to me eric and our daughter doesnt get to know me...how are you going to tell her about me and teach her about me if you dont know something as simple as my favorite candy bar????" that is when i decided to start the journal for Carolina. I write in it whenever something comes up that i want to make sure she knows; my favorite quotes or plays, candy, food, past times, how certain things make me feel.
so skipping ahead...the IV hurts like hell. the epidural is a piece of pie compared to the IV. but of course i was drilling the nurses and the anesthesiologist about everything; "is this going to hurt? are you sure? but what about this? cant you be paralyzed if its done wrong?" ha....oh i am one of those patients. but we made it through all of that just fine. before i knew it..i was laying there in the dark.....IV in, epidural in, cathater in, all numb from the waist down...my butt felt like J.LO on steroids and my legs felt like big rolls of carpet.....and there sat eric, my mom and diane, my MIL, all trying to get some sleep...but i couldnt bc again, that worst fear was haunting me.
around 1 am they came in and broke my water and we were moving right along...right at about 5 cm. so some serious progress had been made since we arrived at 10 pm. the next morning they started the pitocin drip...but all that did was stop my contractions....so they stopped the pitocin.... before long we were at 9 cm and the pitocin was back on! family had been in and out all day...but it meant so much to me that my SIL, Amanda, had taken the day off to be there. she doesnt know it (well maybe if she reads this) but it meant so much to me that she was there....her presence put me at ease and calmed my nerves). everyone was getting excited bc afterall, MISS CAROLINA BELL would be arriving that day.... August 23rd.
before long we were ready to push... i wouldve had her out in 45 minutes...but then she got stuck. her shoulder was stuck in/under my pelvic bone; this is called a shoulder distolgia (sp???)....immediately the nurses pushed eric and the moms out of the way and a whole slew of nurses came running into the room...three or four of them were on top of me..including paula.
the nurses on top of me were pushed on my stomach and they kept yelling at me to push as hard as i could. it was so surreal....i had no idea what was going on but i could feel the panic...no need to give more details im sure you all understand. it was almost 5 minutes that she was stuck...we almost lost our precious baby girl. BUT....she got out! and thank GOD for that! in my confusion those lost 5 minutes i couldnt think to pray so i just kept repeating jeremiah 29:11 in my head...over and over again. begging God to help me. we later found out that everyone in that room was praying..... bc for most of these nurses this was the worst shoulder distolgia they had ever seen (in their 18 years of labor and delivery).
a NICU doctor checked Carolina out and gave her the clear....but i didnt really get to see her or hold her until we were in postpartum (i held her on my chest for maybe 10 minutes after the NICU doctor cleared her but after carrying her for 9 months.... 10 minutes wasnt long enough...especially after you just found out that you couldve lost her!
enough with this sad stuff ( i am trying to move on from this...when i close my eyes and im all alone...my mind goes right back to that delivery room and i cant stand the pain...)...i had a 4th degree tear....plus a bit farther that they had to cut to help get Carolina out. it is painful.....but i felt so much better after a week!
our little girl is so precious! and we are sooo blessed she is healthy! Praise God!
so...you know me....do i go home and rest? naaaaah......mom and i go "walking" at the mall. probably an hour in the contractions were more intense....still erratic but were more like 8 to 4 to 6 minutes apart and for the majority of the hour that we sat at cheesecake factory eating...they were 4 minutes apart. this scared me...all i could think about was that this baby was coming and it was coming now and i would get to the hospital and it would be too late for an epidural...blah blah blah worry worry.
we grabbed our check and headed straight to L&D. i tried calling the dr but couldnt get a hold of them. got to L&D, and got to a bed...and met who would soon become one of the most amazing nurses and gifts from God...my nurse, Paula. (SIDE NOTE HERE: ALL OF MY NURSES IN L&D WERE FABULOUS...I LOVE YOU ALL....I JUST DID A SHOUT OUT TO PAULA BC SHE WAS WITH ME FROM THE BEGINNING...BUT ALL OF YOU, ALL OF THEM, WOULD SOON BECOME VERY IMPORTANT PEOPLE TO ME). Paula was tough on me. you could tell she'd been here done this a million times before. you could tell she cared but at the same time i could just tell that she knew that it wasnt time. we waited a while but the contractions never got strong enough and so i was sent home. but i knew when we walked out the door we would be back in less than 24 hours...even paula knew that.
we got back home and i got all relaxed and eric brought me my "last meal"...outback cheese fries (if you know me you know i am obsessed with them!!!)....&&&& we waited. the contractions were stronger and longer and before you knew it we were on our third attempt of contractions lasting one minute, five minutes apart for one hour.....and so we were out the door. that drive to the hospital seemed like it took forever.
we checked back in and there came paula, she checked my contractions and five minutes later was back in the room telling me theyd be in shortly to do my IV and my epidural. "oh no....the epidural. oh my gosh...this is it. its here." i was ready and excited but apprehensive and a nervous wreck all at the same time. and immediately...my biggest fear, one ive had most of my life set in....what if something goes wrong....what if i die or my baby dies???? SIDE NOTE: at around 4 months i asked eric what my favorite candy bar or something like that was and he got the answer wrong...i instantly got upset and angry with him..."what if something happens to me eric and our daughter doesnt get to know me...how are you going to tell her about me and teach her about me if you dont know something as simple as my favorite candy bar????" that is when i decided to start the journal for Carolina. I write in it whenever something comes up that i want to make sure she knows; my favorite quotes or plays, candy, food, past times, how certain things make me feel.
so skipping ahead...the IV hurts like hell. the epidural is a piece of pie compared to the IV. but of course i was drilling the nurses and the anesthesiologist about everything; "is this going to hurt? are you sure? but what about this? cant you be paralyzed if its done wrong?" ha....oh i am one of those patients. but we made it through all of that just fine. before i knew it..i was laying there in the dark.....IV in, epidural in, cathater in, all numb from the waist down...my butt felt like J.LO on steroids and my legs felt like big rolls of carpet.....and there sat eric, my mom and diane, my MIL, all trying to get some sleep...but i couldnt bc again, that worst fear was haunting me.
around 1 am they came in and broke my water and we were moving right along...right at about 5 cm. so some serious progress had been made since we arrived at 10 pm. the next morning they started the pitocin drip...but all that did was stop my contractions....so they stopped the pitocin.... before long we were at 9 cm and the pitocin was back on! family had been in and out all day...but it meant so much to me that my SIL, Amanda, had taken the day off to be there. she doesnt know it (well maybe if she reads this) but it meant so much to me that she was there....her presence put me at ease and calmed my nerves). everyone was getting excited bc afterall, MISS CAROLINA BELL would be arriving that day.... August 23rd.
before long we were ready to push... i wouldve had her out in 45 minutes...but then she got stuck. her shoulder was stuck in/under my pelvic bone; this is called a shoulder distolgia (sp???)....immediately the nurses pushed eric and the moms out of the way and a whole slew of nurses came running into the room...three or four of them were on top of me..including paula.
the nurses on top of me were pushed on my stomach and they kept yelling at me to push as hard as i could. it was so surreal....i had no idea what was going on but i could feel the panic...no need to give more details im sure you all understand. it was almost 5 minutes that she was stuck...we almost lost our precious baby girl. BUT....she got out! and thank GOD for that! in my confusion those lost 5 minutes i couldnt think to pray so i just kept repeating jeremiah 29:11 in my head...over and over again. begging God to help me. we later found out that everyone in that room was praying..... bc for most of these nurses this was the worst shoulder distolgia they had ever seen (in their 18 years of labor and delivery).
a NICU doctor checked Carolina out and gave her the clear....but i didnt really get to see her or hold her until we were in postpartum (i held her on my chest for maybe 10 minutes after the NICU doctor cleared her but after carrying her for 9 months.... 10 minutes wasnt long enough...especially after you just found out that you couldve lost her!
enough with this sad stuff ( i am trying to move on from this...when i close my eyes and im all alone...my mind goes right back to that delivery room and i cant stand the pain...)...i had a 4th degree tear....plus a bit farther that they had to cut to help get Carolina out. it is painful.....but i felt so much better after a week!
our little girl is so precious! and we are sooo blessed she is healthy! Praise God!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
miss carolina belle
the week of october 25, 2010 is when i first knew something was up! that is when my stomach started this pooch thing....freaked me out...i was terrified....i was getting fat! got married, turned 25 and now i'm getting fat! bye bye body! by the beginning of november my pants were starting to not fit. talk about depressing! for about two months i was sick and gaining weight, it was awful. at first eric just thought i was complaining he would just say " the wedding is over...youre not working out...youre eating whatever you want" blah blah...and then at one point asked me if i was a hypochondriac. so now im depressed, fat and my husband thinks im crazy. wonderful! then came the third weekend in december. that friday i stayed home from work....i was so tired and sick and sick and tired of going to work and lying on my office floor hugging the garbage can. PLUS that was the night we had tickets to see GARTH BROOKS (ive loved him since i was a child) in nashville. i was determined to rest all day and be ready for a beer and the best concert of my life (i have always always wanted to see him in concert)! i know this sounds so stupid but it wasnt until Garth Brooks walked out on stage...all the fans were screaming....and i realized that 1. i was crying and 2. i had no beer... that i realized......IM NOT CRAZY...I REALLY AM PREGNANT! see i had suspected pregnancy but had failed 3 tests! i had taken my first test back in october and then two more in november...eric even told me not to "waste anymore money on pregnancy tests. youre not pregnant. " i spent the rest of the concert crying and holding my stomach hoping to soon confirm with science what i knew in my heart was right.
the next day we traveled to bowling green for christmas with erics moms (we will refer to her throughout as MIL (mother in law...im big on abbreviating things)) family. we were driving with my brother and sister in law (BIL and SIL) to the hosts house when i was explaining to my SIL how crappy i was feeling lately, i was getting fat and we should find a new gym asap! the only thing she could really say was "are you sure youre not pregnant?" and that is what pushed me to the point of knowing i was going to take another test.
the following monday...december 20, 2010....i drove to a cvs by my office....and bought the most expensive pregnancy test available...and not the one with the plus or negative...but the digital kind that says YES or NO. i remember being so anxious and wanting to call eric and tell him to come to the office...but knowing how mad he was about the money i had already 'wasted" on pregnancy tests i decided to wait. i ran into the office and took the test without anyone seeing me and ran straight back up to my office and proceeded to toss the test into a drawer. the dreaded wait. i was oh so hoping it would say PREGNANT...but we all know how the dreaded wait goes...we've done this before. and what was so crazy is that i didnt know how to feel or what to think or do. every other time i had been in this situation i was just begging God that the test would be negative... but here i was just dying for it to say what my heart was hoping for!
i pulled the drawer open just to peak at the test....and there it was....PREGNANT! i was so excited that i literally started screaming and jumping up and down ...but then stopped jumping promptly bc i couldnt help but wonder if i was josteling the baby too much! ha.
of course my mom was right around the corner...how was i to know (please note that at the time, i worked with my mom...and that story is for another time), she came running into my office, "whats wrong, whats wrong?" there was no disgusing what the issue was. i was smiling so big that there was no other explanation.
i immediately called eric and in my most desperate and distressed voice i explained that he MUST come to the office right now, it was important that i see him right now! i remember sitting there with ants in my pants...picking up the phone to call and talk to him...maybe to tell him...but knowing i wanted to tell him face to face. i was so excited. it took him maybe 15 minutes to make it to my office...and the moment he opened the door i couldnt help but throw the test at him......after all...over the last 2 months he'd told me i was just gaining weight...aka getting fat....or crazy and had dismissed all my inclinations of pregnancy. I WAS RIGHT and i was going to blissfully rub it in his face! he took a deep breath, smiled and looked at me in disbelief. he was excited. but at the same time you could tell he didnt want to get his hopes up.
the very next day, december 21, 2010 is when i got my blood test and it wasnt a week later that the doctors office confirmed my pregnancy!
it has been a rough road...im not going to say "pregnancy has been the most amazing journey" or anything like that. it has def been rough for me. i was so sick at first and i got so big so fast....gaining most of my total weight immediately. i have been tired for all but maybe one month and my get-up-and-go has been get-up-and-gone for quite some time now. but here we are ....yesterday marked my 33 week pregnant and today marks 6 weeks and 6 days left. we are due august 31 and i couldnt be more ready!
ok...back to the baby...this whole pregnancy i have been so in-tune with my body. i mean obviously, i "knew" i was pregnant back in october..just couldnt prove it...and i also KNEW it was a GIRL from the very beginning. ill admit that i waved back and forth occasionally but i just had this feeling that i had a little girl in there. there were some definite debates about it. no one in erics family thought there was any possibility that i had a girl.....all they have are boys....but all my friends and people that KNOW me would always say, "i just cant picture you with anything but a girl!"
it was march 28, 2011 that we had our sex appointment! gosh i was so nervous! i had talked a big game about this little baby being a girl....i did NOT want to be wrong! but there she was on the screen...a little girl...no mistaking it! id give a lot of things to have a video or picture of erics face when the tech said it was a girl! he was flabbergasted! but also overjoyed! and trust me....if either of the Fow brothers or....anyone out there period...was to be the one daddy deserving of a little girl...its Eric Fow! needless to say i was on cloud nine and couldnt wait to hold my little princess....bc if you know me...you know she was destined to be a little princess from the beginning!
so now here we are...patiently (as much as we can) awaiting her arrival! her room is ready....car seat is in the car...clothes are washed and put away in drawers by size...our last shower is this saturday and next week i am packing our bags for the hospital! my prediction is that she will come the week of august 12th. this little girl is NOT gonna need to be induced! i am confidant that she has been preparing for her arrival for the last couple of weeks. :)
follow us on here as i update you on all our happiness, frustration and accomplishments. not to mention to occasionally vent about being a stay at home mommy who is also working from home.... (nothing in life, no arrangement, is ever ideal).
lastly, i am still trying to figure this whole blog thing out. so bare with me ( is that the right bare? should it be bear?...im big on english and grammar, but that is one that gets me...hmmm....apologies if its wrong) as i figure this out. pictures will be up soon!
the picture here is from our 4d ultrasound:) and all ultrasound pics are on facebook!
![]()
the next day we traveled to bowling green for christmas with erics moms (we will refer to her throughout as MIL (mother in law...im big on abbreviating things)) family. we were driving with my brother and sister in law (BIL and SIL) to the hosts house when i was explaining to my SIL how crappy i was feeling lately, i was getting fat and we should find a new gym asap! the only thing she could really say was "are you sure youre not pregnant?" and that is what pushed me to the point of knowing i was going to take another test.
the following monday...december 20, 2010....i drove to a cvs by my office....and bought the most expensive pregnancy test available...and not the one with the plus or negative...but the digital kind that says YES or NO. i remember being so anxious and wanting to call eric and tell him to come to the office...but knowing how mad he was about the money i had already 'wasted" on pregnancy tests i decided to wait. i ran into the office and took the test without anyone seeing me and ran straight back up to my office and proceeded to toss the test into a drawer. the dreaded wait. i was oh so hoping it would say PREGNANT...but we all know how the dreaded wait goes...we've done this before. and what was so crazy is that i didnt know how to feel or what to think or do. every other time i had been in this situation i was just begging God that the test would be negative... but here i was just dying for it to say what my heart was hoping for!
i pulled the drawer open just to peak at the test....and there it was....PREGNANT! i was so excited that i literally started screaming and jumping up and down ...but then stopped jumping promptly bc i couldnt help but wonder if i was josteling the baby too much! ha.
of course my mom was right around the corner...how was i to know (please note that at the time, i worked with my mom...and that story is for another time), she came running into my office, "whats wrong, whats wrong?" there was no disgusing what the issue was. i was smiling so big that there was no other explanation.
i immediately called eric and in my most desperate and distressed voice i explained that he MUST come to the office right now, it was important that i see him right now! i remember sitting there with ants in my pants...picking up the phone to call and talk to him...maybe to tell him...but knowing i wanted to tell him face to face. i was so excited. it took him maybe 15 minutes to make it to my office...and the moment he opened the door i couldnt help but throw the test at him......after all...over the last 2 months he'd told me i was just gaining weight...aka getting fat....or crazy and had dismissed all my inclinations of pregnancy. I WAS RIGHT and i was going to blissfully rub it in his face! he took a deep breath, smiled and looked at me in disbelief. he was excited. but at the same time you could tell he didnt want to get his hopes up.
the very next day, december 21, 2010 is when i got my blood test and it wasnt a week later that the doctors office confirmed my pregnancy!
it has been a rough road...im not going to say "pregnancy has been the most amazing journey" or anything like that. it has def been rough for me. i was so sick at first and i got so big so fast....gaining most of my total weight immediately. i have been tired for all but maybe one month and my get-up-and-go has been get-up-and-gone for quite some time now. but here we are ....yesterday marked my 33 week pregnant and today marks 6 weeks and 6 days left. we are due august 31 and i couldnt be more ready!
ok...back to the baby...this whole pregnancy i have been so in-tune with my body. i mean obviously, i "knew" i was pregnant back in october..just couldnt prove it...and i also KNEW it was a GIRL from the very beginning. ill admit that i waved back and forth occasionally but i just had this feeling that i had a little girl in there. there were some definite debates about it. no one in erics family thought there was any possibility that i had a girl.....all they have are boys....but all my friends and people that KNOW me would always say, "i just cant picture you with anything but a girl!"
it was march 28, 2011 that we had our sex appointment! gosh i was so nervous! i had talked a big game about this little baby being a girl....i did NOT want to be wrong! but there she was on the screen...a little girl...no mistaking it! id give a lot of things to have a video or picture of erics face when the tech said it was a girl! he was flabbergasted! but also overjoyed! and trust me....if either of the Fow brothers or....anyone out there period...was to be the one daddy deserving of a little girl...its Eric Fow! needless to say i was on cloud nine and couldnt wait to hold my little princess....bc if you know me...you know she was destined to be a little princess from the beginning!
so now here we are...patiently (as much as we can) awaiting her arrival! her room is ready....car seat is in the car...clothes are washed and put away in drawers by size...our last shower is this saturday and next week i am packing our bags for the hospital! my prediction is that she will come the week of august 12th. this little girl is NOT gonna need to be induced! i am confidant that she has been preparing for her arrival for the last couple of weeks. :)
follow us on here as i update you on all our happiness, frustration and accomplishments. not to mention to occasionally vent about being a stay at home mommy who is also working from home.... (nothing in life, no arrangement, is ever ideal).
lastly, i am still trying to figure this whole blog thing out. so bare with me ( is that the right bare? should it be bear?...im big on english and grammar, but that is one that gets me...hmmm....apologies if its wrong) as i figure this out. pictures will be up soon!
the picture here is from our 4d ultrasound:) and all ultrasound pics are on facebook!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)